


anymore

by pabottokhae



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24367642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pabottokhae/pseuds/pabottokhae
Summary: Feelings were mutual, hands were yearning for the other’s, and eyes were screaming for the other to look. But that was it and that was all. Fear overpowered one.
Relationships: Choi Jisu | Lia/Shin Ryujin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	1. anymore

Lia remembers it like it was just yesterday.

She just got back from Canada after spending her middle school years there and now she’s back to finishing the rest of her highschool in Korea. She was nervous to be back and knew absolutely no one. Well, except for one and that was Ryujin.

Ryujin was her childhood friend and the only one she managed to keep contact with through her years in Canada. And now that she’s back in Korea, she’s thankful that her parents enrolled her in the same school that Ryujin was attending as it was one less person to get used to.

A day before the start of term, her nervousness got the better of her and so she messaged Ryujin. _‘hey ryu, do u mind if we could eat lunch together for the first weeks of school? u kno i still don’t know anyone…’_

And that was exactly Ryujin did the next day, and more. She fetched the older at her house so they could go to school together, toured her around the school, and walked her to class, saying she’ll come by to fetch her for lunch later and that she’ll take the older girl home as well. And it became a routine, even if Lia managed to make new friends out of her classmates. Lia just doesn’t know how it went from that to Ryujin suddenly carrying her bag for her, even if that meant Ryujin carrying two bags and to Ryujin bringing her snacks to eat as they walked to and from school. 

It was to a point where it felt empty and just wasn’t right if Ryujin wasn’t beside her. Lia felt guilty because Ryujin probably had her own friends at school to begin with, but Ryujin never complained and was more than happy to accompany the older, anywhere.

It wasn’t until someone from her class said “Hey Li, your girlfriend is coming. Better pack your things now.” did Lia begin to notice Ryujin’s actions, and how she actually wanted it from Ryujin. Lia didn’t even get mad at her classmate for saying that because that person wasn’t even insulting her, but genuinely just giving her a heads up.

But from then on, Lia began to look at Ryujin differently, carefully.

“Ryujin-ah.” Lia called the younger. They were on their way to Lia’s house and the younger was carrying both of their bags. “Why do you insist on carrying my bag for me?” Ryujin just smiled. “I just want to. You must be tired from school.”

Lia raised a brow. “But you were in school too. Give it to me. I’ll carry it from now on.”

Ryujin shook her head. “No. Let me. Erm. Here.” Ryujin fished out a plastic of gummy bears and handed it to Lia. Lia received it and noticed there were no orange bears as usual. She despised that flavor because it tasted like medicine but somehow, everytime Ryujin gave her gummy bears there weren’t any. “Say, Ryujin-ah.”

“Hm?”

“Where do you get these?”

“School cafeteria, why?”

Lia found it odd. She’s bought from there before and there were orange ones. “Then where did all the orange bears go?”

Ryujin slightly chuckled. “I didn’t think you’d realize.” She scratched the back of her head and Lia looked at her, waiting for an answer. “Well?”

“I ate them. I remember you don’t like the orange ones, so I ate them ahead.”

“But you don’t like the taste too.”

Ryujin shrugged. “It’s alright. It’s just gummy, unni.” She smiled.

Lia pouted. It wasn’t just gummy, not since Ryujin decided to do that for her without her even asking. Lia ate the gummy bears nonetheless, they were her favorite. Ryujin chuckles at her, Lia looked at her and she looked like a Christmas tree wearing two bags; one on her back, one on her chest. “Can you please let me carry my bag from now on? I’m starting to feel bad, you know.”

Ryujin sighed and removed her own bag from herself before handing it to Lia. “Here, mine is lighter.” Lia smiled, happily took it and wore it on her back. “Deal.”

Lia liked Ryujin, and it scared her because it wasn’t in a friendly way. Ryujin’s actions made her feel like there’s butterflies in her stomach, and every time she’s with Ryujin she feels all giddy and warm. But Lia also knew they were still young and it just might be a phase, so she didn’t act on it and she just let it.

But when she stepped into college and Ryujin wasn’t there, her heart ached and stomach felt empty. It was hard to get used to and get by for a whole year while she waited for the younger to get into college as well. But she had to, because she didn’t want Ryujin knowing that she’s taking it badly because the younger might not focus on her last year of highschool and that might cause complications.

Few months in, and someone’s courting Lia. She didn’t tell Ryujin about it, because _why would she?_ It doesn’t concern Ryujin anyway. Lia decided to give it a try, thinking that maybe it’ll help her get her mind off her silly little crush on Ryujin. But it only made everything worse as it just made her realize what she felt for Ryujin wasn’t just a silly little crush.

After three weeks of seeing the guy, she finally confessed that she’s not interested and thankfully, the guy was a sport about it.

But fate liked to play with Lia because that night, Ryujin decided to surprise her for dinner. Her stomach churned at the sight of Ryujin crouching down, waiting for her at her door. How was she supposed to look at Ryujin now, when now she’s sure that she’s in love with her?

She gulped and held her breath, walking towards the younger. Ryujin sensed someone approaching and met eyes with Lia, she smiled and stood up. “Unni!”

Lia smiled as well and immediately wrapped the younger in a tight embrace. Ryujin was clueless as to why the older was this touchy as she wasn’t usually so, but she just thought something must’ve happened in one of her classes and Lia just needed a hug. So she hugged her and patted her back. “I missed you too, unni. Is everything okay?”

Lia’s heart skipped a beat. She sure hoped that everything was okay and just nodded, to answer Ryujin. “I just missed seeing you, that’s all. Come on, let’s come in.”

“Ohh, unni. Have I told you?” Ryujin said, Lia was unlocking her door. “Hm?”

“I have this new friend, Chaeryeong. She’s just transferred this year and-” Ryujin went on, as they went inside Lia’s dorm. Lia just listened as she went to prepare some food but she can’t help but feel jealous. Whoever this Chaeryeong was, she must be so much fun around that she’s all that Ryujin is talking about, even as they ate.

What a sick way it was for destiny to play Lia like that; having her realize just hours ago that she loves Ryujin and now it’s telling her that Ryujin is preoccupied. And once again, Lia had to deal with her feelings without Ryujin knowing.

They kept in contact, as if Lia wasn’t even trying to get over her.

But her jealousy subsided when she was back home over the term break and finally met the girl. All those things Ryujin said about Chaeryeong was true, she was indeed fun to be around. Lia even thanked her, when Ryujin briefly left the two to go to the comfort room. “Thank you Chaeryeong-ssi.” Chaeryeong raised a brow at her. “For keeping Ryujin accompany.” Chaeryeong smiled. “Unni. You know that she’s only got eyes for you, right?”

Lia blinked. “Huh?”

Chaeryeong shrugged. “Just thought I should let you know. You’re all she thinks and talks about.” Chaeryeong started. “Did you know I once asked a favor from her to buy me some gummy bears because I was craving them? She did, but when she handed it to me there were no orange ones. I found it weird but it turned out that’s what she always did for you.” Chaeryeong laughed. “Back then, I just nodded and thought, she must really be missing you already.” Lia just smiled. She could feel her heart beat faster. _Here we go again, I guess._

Lia got through the whole year just fine. She admits maybe she overacted a bit at the first half, but it wasn’t all that bad getting used to no Ryujin beside her. It was better because she became friends with Yeji, who convinced her that liking the younger wasn’t a bad thing and she shouldn’t be even trying to stop herself from doing so.

So now, the new school year approaches and it’ll be Ryujin’s first year in college. Lia promised she’ll help Ryujin around, afterall Ryujin enrolled in the same university as her, just taking up a different course.

Lia guided Ryujin around like how she did when Lia returned from Canada. Lia told her all she knew about the university, where to eat at certain times and where to spend some time alone if needed. Lia wanted Ryujin to settle in properly and quickly unlike how she did in her first year.

Lia was now more expressive of her affections towards Ryujin and that meant she was now touchy and into skinship. She didn’t realize that her hand naturally took Ryujin’s and would automatically hold the other after having to let go for a brief moment, like it’s magnetic. 

Lia smiled as she looked at their intertwined hands as they walked together out of the campus. She really liked holding Ryujin’s hand, it was a perfect fit. But today she feels bad, Lia’s classes ended for the day while it was Ryujin’s free day, she only went to campus to fetch the older, like the old times. “You know, Ryujin. As much as I’d like to relive our highschool days, promise me not to do this every time it’s your free day.”

Ryujin chuckled. “What do you mean, unni?”

“You should be studying instead of going out of your way to see me on your free day.” Lia pouted.

Ryujin weakly laughed. “I’m sorry unni, it’s just that we don’t get to spend time with each other as much. I mean, I know we’re both busy with our own classes. Like, aaah. What am I even saying…” She sighed, unable to convey her thoughts properly.

Ryujin’s words hit Lia like a truck. It was just a week after the midterms period and she can’t deny that she had been busy with her own classes and with her college friends that she hasn’t really met up with the younger as much as the first weeks. Lia didn’t know what to say in order to assure the girl, so she just stayed quiet and squeezed Ryujin’s hand. They continued walking and passed by a cafe. Lia thought of something.

“Ryujin-ah. How about a weekly study date?” Lia suggested. “I mean, at least we aim to do it weekly.”

Ryujin smiled and nodded her head like an excited kid. “Yes, please unni.”

And it became a thing, _their thing._ A weekly study date at a cafe nearby, sometimes even at the university library. All those sneaky glances, passing of notes and the times they played _friendly_ footsies _._ Sometimes their study dates ended late at night that she’d make Ryujin stay over, even if the younger’s dorm was near. All she really wanted to do was sleep next to her and cuddle up to her and almost always, she’s successful, other times she’d find herself being the one cuddled by the younger. Lia was ecstatic, she wanted it to be like that forever with Ryujin. But she knew that it was just wishful thinking.

It was a term break and Lia was out with Yeji, just shopping when Yeji asked her for an update. “Update? What do you mean?” Lia was confused. Yeji sighed. “With what’s going on with you and Ryujin? Have you told her how you feel **yet**?” Lia gulped. “No.”

Yeji frowned at her. “I thought you did, you guys have been lovey dovey already with all the hand holding, sleepovers and such.” Lia sighed. “I know.” She answered in a low voice. “Do friends not do that? Like bestfriends?”

Yeji looked at Lia and realized Lia was genuinely asking. “Are you really still second guessing your own feelings for Ryujin?” Lia just pursed her lips, Yeji faced her and grabbed Lia by her shoulders to make her face her. “Lia, listen.”

Lia nodded and waited for whatever Yeji was about to say. “Friends can do those things too, without malice. Like, I can walk with you for the rest of the day while holding hands with you, sure, but it’s what you feel while you do it, is what makes it different.”

Lia nodded and sighed. “I know but...what if she doesn’t feel the same?” Yeji looked at her in disbelief, she’s seen the two flirt with each other and doubts that what Lia feels is one-sided but it’s just so hard to convince her friend that. Yeji sighed, for the nth time that day. “Well, we won’t know unless you ask, right?”

Lia was walking back to her dorm after her shopping and dinner with Yeji quite late, as they also talked about a lot of things. Lia just understood what Yeji meant earlier, she held Yeji’s hand earlier and the latter let her, but there was no warm feeling forming inside Lia’s heart, no giddiness. Lia finally understood and she didn’t need to ask Yeji to cuddle with her to realize. Lia knew Yeji was right about coming clean to Ryujin, but she just didn’t want to risk what she has with Ryujin right now, or ever. She’s content with how things are, that’s what she tells herself.

And once again, fate liked to play with her and she walked past a barbeque place and caught a glimpse of Ryujin inside. She stopped by the entrance for a while to look carefully and her eyesight didn’t disappoint, it was indeed Ryujin but she wasn’t alone and that was what disappointed Lia. She was drinking, with a bunch of others, maybe her friends? Or her classmates? But that wasn’t the disappointing part. The disappointing part was, she was all smiles while this girl beside her was all touchy with her. Lia just stood there, she had no clue what to do. She wasn’t Ryujin’s girlfriend to cause a scene to begin with, she was just her bestfriend. Just a friend. Lia took one last look at Ryujin, gulped and ran away from there without looking back.

It’s been weeks since then and it was a new semester. She hasn’t seen nor met up with Ryujin since that night. She’s been ignoring Ryujin, saying she’s busy with stuff with her classes and that she’ll make it up to her soon, she didn’t know if Ryujin bought it but she’ll just have to think that Ryujin did, in order for her to successfully avoid the younger just until this pain in her chest subsides. Just until it doesn’t hurt whenever that image of Ryujin from that night won’t bother her at night, anymore….Just until then.

She was about to fall asleep when her phone rang. She lousily grabbed her phone from her bedside table and saw who was calling. _Ryujin._ Her heart immediately beat fast, just by the sight of her name on her phone screen. She hesitated to answer it, thought that she could just message the girl in the morning saying she was already asleep when she called, but her finger betrayed her when it slid across the screen to answer the call.

“R-ryujinie?”

 _“Hello?”_ It wasn’t Ryujin’s voice, but it was a familiar one. _“This is Lia unni, right? It’s Chaeryeong.”_

 _Oh that’s why it’s familiar, but Lia still found it weird._ Chaeryeong went to a different university than them, but it was just in the neighboring town, still in Seoul. They would meet up a few times but never had Ryujin went there without telling Chaeryeong or Lia first. “Yes, Chaeryeong. This is Lia. Why are you calling? ...using Ryujin’s phone?”

_“Unni, Ryujin came here earlier asking me to drink with her and now she’s drunk and i can’t-- HEY STOP DRINKING ALREADY OHMYG----” Then Lia heard some bottles falling and Chaeryeong nagging Ryujin. It was after a while before Chaeryeong spoke to her again, “Anyways. Where was I, unni?”_

“You said, Ryujin’s drunk…” And Lia felt guilty for it since she’s been ignoring Ryujin.

_“Right. She’s a mess and I have to go to my dorm soon ‘coz I got curfew. I tried calling her a taxi but when the taxi arrived she wouldn’t leave and kept asking me to call you instead. Unni, please help.”_

Lia got up from her bed and immediately grabbed a change of clothes from her closet. “I’ll come get her, just hang in there Chaeryeong-ah, send me the location.”

Lia arrived about forty minutes later, just in time for Chaeryeong to dash to her dorm just so she wouldn’t get locked out. She took Ryujin back to her dorm, and just as she helped Ryujin lie on her bed, she felt the younger’s hand pull her down with unexpected strength, making her fall on top of the younger while Ryujin immediately wrapped her arms around her. “Stay...please.” Lia heard Ryujin beg, her voice hinted of mixed emotions- hurt, longing and anger, just a few of the emotions Lia felt from Ryujin’s short request. Lia felt Ryujin hug her tighter. She gulped, tears were already forming in her eyes. “Okay…I’ll stay _for now_.” She whispered as she relaxed into the embrace, putting her arms around the younger as well. They slept like that.

* * *

Lia was brought back to present when she realized Yeji’s just entered the room, she saw her friend pouting at her through the mirror. Lia faces her and smiles at her, it’s been a while since she’s met her same-aged friend, not after she left to go back to Canada just before their junior year in college. “Yeji!” She greets her, but Yeji’s still pouting at her. “What?”

“I hate you. You’re so cruel.” Yeji finally says.

Lia takes a deep breath, she knows what Yeji means. “I know…but I want her to be there.” Yeji nods and finally takes a look at Lia’s appearance, she smiles at her. “You look beautiful.” Lia smiles too. “Well, it’s not everyday that I get married, right?” She jokes, and they both chuckle but not for long.

“Have you talked to her, though? Before sending her the invite.”

Lia bites her lower lip and shakes her head. “I wanted to, but I was scared.”

“Scared of what exactly?” Yeji tries to probe deeper but Lia just keeps her silence. But it’s not like they both didn’t know what Lia was scared of anyway. Lia was scared of how both she and Ryujin would be like when they meet again.

It’s time.

Lia’s waiting in front of the church’s front door. She’s just moments away before marching down the aisle and she’s nervous. _Would Ryujin even be there?_ Lia just wants to see Ryujin one last time before she commits herself to her groom. Just one last look at her face. She knows that if the younger girl doesn’t show up, it’s her fault. She left the younger girl behind years ago without saying anything, and everyday she’s felt guilty about it. She went back to Canada and continued her studies there, she cut herself off from Ryujin’s life. Looking back now, she should’ve stayed or just said something to Ryujin, but no, she chose to run away.

Her emotions must’ve been written on her face because she felt her dad squeeze her hand before linking their arms together. “Honey, it’s okay to be nervous.” Lia looks at her Dad and gives a small smile. _Oh, how he had no clue…_ Her eyes are watery now.

The doors opened and the music started, signaling for her to start marching down the aisle. She and her dad start to walk, she sees her groom waiting at the altar, smiling brightly at her but her eyes search the crowd, everyone’s smiling at her and cheering for her but there was no sign of Ryujin. Lia felt a great pang in her heart. She expected it, but she still hoped. She saw a pouting Yeji who then nodded at her, she gave her a small smile and nodded back. Ryujin’s no appearance was expected and Lia knows she deserves the pain she’s feeling right now.

Her dad passes her hand to her groom. And soon after the priest starts the ceremony, giving an opening speech and Lia’s mind is too out of it to pay attention. Not until, a small noise comes amongst the crowd, Lia glances and she freezes.

Ryujin. Lia sees her shuffling her way through the seats, trying to get to the empty one next to Yeji. Lia’s eyes widened. _She’s here. She came. Ryujin. She’s-_ Lia watches as Ryujin finally reaches the seat next to Yeji and settles there and finally looks at her, they lock eyes. Lia gulps, she’s still stunned, unbelieving that Ryujin actually came despite what she did to her. Lia sees Ryujin give her a thumbs up and a hint of a smile, trying to assure Lia that she’s okay but Lia can see through it and it hurts her even more.

_I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you._


	2. all the more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When fear overpowered one, the other one was doused in confusion. But the truth always prevails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i never planned on doing a part two for this but reading your feedback made me :D  
> i just hope i did this one justice so that you guys can enjoy :)

Lia couldn’t take it and she knew she brought it upon herself. She’s the one who sent the invite to Ryujin and yet she didn’t really expect Ryujin to actually show up, not after she technically ghosted her.

But as soon as she saw Ryujin there, trying to smile for her, it was more than enough to crash all of Lia’s facade of being okay, of getting over what she did to the younger. Everything she built over those years, especially her relationship with her Jinryeol, her sweet and gentle groom, even if it was arranged, it all came crashing down. She tried her best to love him, but with just that one look she shared with Ryujin, it was enough to convince her that it was all in vain.

Lia glanced at Ryujin one last time, the younger was looking at her as well. Lia gulped.

_I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you._

How could Ryujin be so good to her? She was left behind and in the dark of all of this and yet, she shows up like nothing happened. How could Ryujin be so selfless? Lia thought and then she ran for it. Lia was convinced that she doesn’t deserve Ryujin, even as a friend. She feels sick.

Everyone was alarmed. The sight of the bride running away like that was more than enough to stun them. No one moved for a while, not even Lia’s parents, Jinryeol nor Ryujin.

Finally realizing what just happened, Yeji was first to act and grabbed Ryujin’s wrist to drag her along as they ran after Lia. Lia’s parents finally stood up too, but they were trying to calm the crowd, assuring that Lia just needed a moment. Lia’s dad looked at the groom and only then did he finally move.

“Wait. Ryujin, right?” Jinryeol caught up to Yeji and Ryujin and caught Ryujin by her wrist. Yeji looked at him skeptically and was about to speak but Jinryeol beat her to it. “I...I have to talk to Ryujin. Yeji-ssi, please go ahead and look for Lia.” He said, looking at Yeji dead in the eyes and Yeji was unsure if she should let the two talk, she didn’t know much about Jinryeol and although she knew Ryujin, they haven’t talked in a while too. She looked at Ryujin who just nodded at her and removed Yeji’s hold on her. “It’s okay, unni. You go look for Lia unni..”

Yeji looked at the two, both were encouraging her to go and she realized that finding Lia was priority and whatever these two had to talk about, she doesn’t have a say on it. She nodded at the two and then ran. She could only pray that the two won’t cause a scene to top what Lia just did.

Lia’s in a taxi. She hailed the first one she spotted after running away from the church and told the driver the first place that popped into her head, Hangang river. The driver gave her some weird looks, probably because she’s literally in a wedding dress, but nonetheless, he drove away, heading to where Lia told him. Her phone’s been ringing nonstop and it was either from her Dad or Yeji. She was about to turn it off when she received Yeji’s message. ‘Please tell me where you are. I’ll come to you. I won’t tell anyone. Please, Lia-yah.’

She thought about replying but another message came. This time it was from Jinryeol. ‘Lia-yah. It’s okay. I’ll deal with them. Just please be okay and at least tell Yeji where you are.’

Tears finally rolled down from Lia’s eyes. She and Jinryeol were arranged to marry one another from the moment their parents knew they were each getting a daughter and a son. But neither of them knew up until a few years ago and that was what forced Lia to move back to Canada and leave everything behind, including Ryujin.

Jinryeol had always been good to her and respected her. Even when they went on dates, he never made a move on her and respected her space. He was a good listener too, Lia told him all about Ryujin and how much she regrets leaving her behind. With small steps, Lia learned to confide in him, convincing herself that it was love. Jinryeol told her all about him too and Lia realized it wasn’t only her that was suffering in their arranged marriage. Jinryeol had someone he loved too but both of them couldn’t do anything as they didn’t want to disappoint their parents.

* * *

It’s been weeks. 

Ryujin still doesn’t know what to make of what happened. Especially after the conversation she had with Jinryeol.

Jinryeol had taken her to a cafe nearby the church, Ryujin found it weird at first because it was as if he didn’t care that his own wedding was just ruined. But everything made sense when he finally opened his mouth to speak.

 _“It’s okay. Don’t worry about them back there. It’s a forced marriage, just something to boost both our families businesses and all that clich_ _é_ _. But we both didn’t know until some years ago. That’s why she left, why she left you.”_ Jinryeol’s words kept ringing in her head, everything was still so fresh.

Ryujin’s gonna be honest, she was angry at Lia for leaving without a word. She tried everything then, she sent so many chats, international texts and calls. She even emailed but she never heard anything from Lia. She was so mad but somehow, it didn’t make her hate the older. All she wanted to hear from her, anything from Lia. And now, with what Jinryeol just told her, everything made sense.

 _“She didn’t know how to tell you without hurting you...And I know she ended up hurting you still but I hope you find it in your heart to forgive her for that. We never wanted any of this in the first place.”_ Jinryeol carefully reached for her hand across the table and squeezed it, and for some reason, Ryujin wasn’t even fighting him off. Something just tells her that she can trust this guy.

“ _Ryujin-ssi. I know it’s weird coming from me but trust me when I tell you that it’s you who she really loves.”_

“Then why did she invite me here?” She couldn’t help but ask.

Ryujin’s head hurts. That conversation with Jinryeol was all she could think of. She remembers every single bit, even when she tried not to think about it.

 _“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to answer that, only Lia can. But Ryujin-ssi, listen to me.”_ Ryujin just looked at him, waiting for what he had to say. “ _I’m going to call the wedding off. I should’ve done it sooner, I’m sorry. But I just had to be sure Lia would be in good hands.”_

She was so confused. “What do you mean?”

_“I have someone else that I love. Lia and I are in the same situation, she knows about her and feels sorry for me too. The only difference is, I had the chance to explain everything to her, to Minjoo. Lia wasn’t able to do that with you. I’m telling you all these on her behalf as I’m afraid she still won’t find the strength to tell you.”_

“I would’ve understood if she told me then. I mean, I understand even now.” Ryujin said.

Jinryeol smiled and nodded at her. _“Ryujin-ah, you also have to understand that Lia was scared out of her wits then to tell you, even now…”_

“But what is she so scared of?”

_“Of you not feeling the same and losing you in the process. Her parents having control on her life is a factor too.”_

“But…” Ryujin was in disbelief. “But she could never lose me...”

It’s been weeks and she hasn’t left the comfort of her own apartment. She hasn’t contacted anyone too. Even Yeji, who had been calling her and messaging her over the weeks. Some of the messages were;

_‘I found Lia. How did it go with Jinryeol?’_

_‘I heard their wedding is off. Something about Jinryeol confessing that he had someone else and that Lia knew about it all along. He made it seem like he’s been cheating all this time. Ryujin-ah, did you know? Did he tell you something about that??’_

_‘Ryujin-ah. I think Jinryeol told Lia about you two talking and she’s been restless since. She’s been wanting to leave. Where are you???’_

It’s been weeks.

She hasn’t seen Lia since and she should see her as soon as possible, as the older might run away again. Thank God, she’s staying with Yeji for the mean while and Yeji’s not willing to let her leave any time soon or ever.

Ryujin knows it’s time so she typed out a message. _‘Yeji unni. Can I see her?’_ and as if on cue, Yeji immediately called her.

“Unni.”

_“Ryujin, I swear. You’ve been ignoring me for weeks. Lia’s anxious, what exactly did you and Jinryeol talk about?”_

“Nothing to worry about. Jinryeol oppa explained everything to me. Can I see Lia unni? She can’t know I’m coming to see her, she might run…”

Ryujin heard Yeji sigh. _“You know, I really can’t understand why she’d want to leave and not talk to you, she’s been like this since college and I am tired of it. I’m with you on this. When are you coming?”_

“What do you mean since college?”

_“I knew she’s had feelings for you since before we became friends in college, I’ve been trying to convince her to tell you but she’d always second guess everything. Honestly, it was very frustrating.”_

“Oohh..” Ryujin doesn’t know what to say. Finding out Lia’s been harvesting feelings for her since highschool was news to her. She pouts. How could the older keep such a thing from her for so long that it led up to this?

_“So? When are you coming? I have a trip soon, I don’t know how to make sure Lia doesn’t leave then.”_

Ryujin’s lips formed into a smile before she spoke again.

* * *

“So, Lia’s still asleep but she should be waking up soon since it’s almost noon and she will be hungry, you know how she gets hungry anyway. So yea. You know the passcode, I already told you, right?” Yeji told Ryujin silently, they were in the living room, by the door. Yeji was about to leave and Lia was still asleep in the guest room. Lia’s been staying with Yeji because the latter insists and forbids the other to leave ever since her supposed marriage. Lia had nowhere to go anyway as her parents are mad at her for keeping Jinryeol’s affair from there. Lia doesn’t understand why they’d take it out on her but she didn’t mind, because she’s honestly so done with them. She just hopes she can find a job soon so she wouldn’t be much of a burden to Yeji.

Ryujin just nods at everything Yeji said. They planned this. Yeji was to keep Lia up late the night before so that she’ll sleep in the next morning, giving enough time for Ryujin to settle in the apartment. She’s not moving in per se, just going to spend a few days there instead of Yeji as she had a three-day long trip that she kept from Lia.

Yeji holds Ryujin by her shoulders. “I wish you luck, my friend.” Ryujin chuckles at her. “I won’t let her go this time, unni. Or any time in the future for that matter.” Yeji nods. “I know. But a little bit of luck wouldn’t hurt, right?” They smile at each other. “Alright, I’m off now. See you guys in a few days.” Yeji says before leaving.

Ryujin sees Yeji off and immediately heads to the kitchen to prepare food for lunch as silently as possible so she won’t wake Lia. She was almost successful, just finishing off the stew when she heard small steps approaching and a still sleepy Lia, asking. “Yeji, why didn’t you wake me…”

Ryujin dropped the rest of the chopped vegetables into the pot and turned around to see Lia, her eyes were still closed. She smiled at the sight. “Well, unni. If you only open your eyes, you’d know Yeji unni isn’t around to wake you.”

And at once, Lia opened her eyes as she recognized that voice. “S..shin Ryujin” Lia uttered, she’s frozen in place. “I-”

Ryujin knew Lia won’t be able to go far if she runs away from her now but something in her just pushed her to walk towards Lia and hold her hand, to keep her there. “Unni, it’s okay. Jinryeol oppa explained everything to me.”

Lia was in disbelief, of having Ryujin right in front of her and that she’s not mad at her. “I’m still sorry, I should’ve said something, I-” Ryujin softly chuckled, she knew Lia would find it hard to collect her thoughts in order to explain herself but it’s not like Ryujin needed to hear more. Nonetheless, she knew it would help Lia’s nerves if she said it herself. Ryujin squeezed Lia’s hand and looked at the older ever so softly. “Breathe unni, we’ve got time. It’s okay.”

Lia looked at their hands and then to Ryujin. She missed this, the feeling of their skins touching, the feeling of having Ryujin near and within her reach. She missed Ryujin. She took a deep breath. “Ryujin, I’m really sorry. For everything, for leaving you behind all those years ago and not saying anything, nor replying to you. I’m sorry.” Ryujin nodded. “I’ve forgiven you about that, unni.”

Lia gulped. “Ryujin-ah, you should be mad at me, not like this... Why aren’t you?”

“Unni stop.” She started. “You only want me to be mad so you could run away again. Well, I’m not having it and I’m not mad, at least...at least not anymore. Jinryeol oppa told me about your families arranging for you two to get married. So that’s clear now. I’m not mad.”

Lia’s eyebrows furrowed and Ryujin can’t help but think she’s cute, she laughed at the sight. “Ryujin-ah, why...why are you so good to me?” Ryujin didn’t expect that. But she kept her cool and knew exactly how to answer. She tightened her hold on the older’s hand and pulled her closer and wrapped her free arm around the older’s waist, trapping Lia in an embrace. “Because unni, I’m in love with you.”

Lia’s eyes widened. “Ryu-”

“I have been since high school. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, would’ve saved us a lot of trouble.” Ryujin grinned, their faces are just a few inches apart. “Although, I am curious about one thing, unni.”

“W-what?”

“Is it okay for me to assume you feel the same the way? Can I kiss you?”

“...that’s two things.”

Ryujin chuckled. “I’m going to kiss you.”

**Author's Note:**

> do any of you guys also not like that orange gummy :c


End file.
